Our Story

We became pregnant with our first child in 2014 and could not wait to be parents. I followed everything by the book to ensure that my baby would be born healthy. Jace continued to grow and had a strong heartbeat at every check up. Monday, July 20th was my due date. I went in to see my dr the Friday before and everything was great. She told me that I would be back that weekend because things were really progressing. He would be making his arrival soon. Come Monday morning, I was in active labor. I waited until my contractions were closer and stronger before I called the office. When they were 5 minutes apart, I called and told the nurse that I was in labor and it was my due date. Then she asked me something that I will never forget.. “have you felt the baby move today?”. I told her that he hasn’t been moving a whole lot that day but I thought it was normal. She asked me to come in to the office closest to us before heading to the hospital to be checked out.

When we arrived, I was told that my Dr was already on call at the hospital and was given a heads up that I might be there soon to deliver. I sat in the room anxiously waiting for the other Dr to come and check out my progress with dilation. She did the exam and told me, “You’re delivering this baby today!” “ let me just check his heartbeat before I send you to the hospital.”

The second she put the Doppler on, there was silence. She told me that she was having a hard time finding him and he could just be in a position that is making it difficult. After a few minutes she left the room and came back with a nurse and a bigger machine. She tried and there was still nothing. I instantly died inside. I knew there was something wrong and they didn’t know how to tell me. They sent for Kyle who was in the waiting room for me. When he walked in, I couldn’t even speak. I was crying uncontrollably and mumbling that something was wrong with the baby.

I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. My Dr was waiting for me when I got there. She had the ultrasound machine ready. When she got Jace up on the screen I saw no movement, no fluttering heart beat and no noise from his heart beat was present either. She told me that he was gone. This will forever be the worse moment of my life.

I delivered the most beautiful baby boy that day. He was big, healthy and showed no signs of struggle with his cord. We will never know what really happened to him. They had a theory that he pinched his cord while making way down for delivery but there was nothing to prove that this was the case.

I spent some time with him alone and some time with him surrounded by dozens of family members and close friends. We took photos with him, held him, kissed him and told him how much we loved him.

I left the hospital the next morning empty handed. Something that was supposed to be the best day of my life was now the most haunting. Instead of leaving with my new baby, I left with a box. A box with his bracelets, his clothes, hand and foot prints and even some locks of his hair. I was depressed . I didn’t want to leave my bed. I didn’t want to be around people. Kyle stayed home for weeks and was let go from his job. They didn’t understand.

We fell behind on bills. We struggled for a long time. It took us a little over a year to get back to a semi- normal life and for us to get back on our feet.

Every year following Jace’s death, we hosted an event in his honor. All proceeds were donated to a nonprofit organization that is dedicated to stillborn awareness. It’s a great cause but I wanted to do something on a more personal level. The last thing a bereaved parents should have to worry about are bills and money problems. That is why I started this non profit organization. To help with the finances while parents cope with the loss of their babies. I hope while doing so, we can also continue to spread stillborn awareness and advocate for better prenatal care for all pregnancies. ALL babies should be watched closely while in the womb. ALL pregnancies should be monitored closely not just the high risk ones.

Since having Jace, we added another little boy to the family. Ford was born in 2018 and filled the void that was in my heart for so long. He proved to me that there really is a rainbow after the storm. Ford and Jace just became big brothers to a gorgeous little girl named Freya. My heart feels so full. Both Ford and Freya will learn about their big brother Jace. I will never forget him and they won’t either.